My Heart

Muhammad Rafael Faliq was born on the 8^th July 2008, 6.41am. He was weight 3.5kg and his height was 51cm. I couldn’t describe how I felt when I first held him in my arms. That morning it rained and I knew it was “Hujan Rahmat” and it was to welcome my Baby! Fairuz was so happy he still can’t believe that he’s a father to a very handsome baby! He recite the ‘Azan’ and tears of Joy run down his eyes. We were the happiest parent ever.

That morning mummy, Gja, & Kelly was there. They were so happy and just can’t believe that Rafael was such a handsome baby; of course...take a look at his parents…hehhehe...Daddy came with Mama later in the afternoon. They were surprised too that Rafael was so fair… everyone was happy and held him and kissed him. He just did his role of being adorable… to my surprise Fairuz’s brother came. Both of them…they congratulate me and they were so happy to welcome their new nephew in their lives.

I was discharge from the hospital the next day. Geeja, Fidos (Fairuz’s Brother) & Fairuz drove us to Mummy’s. Rafael was ok and all my other siblings were so happy. His bed was all ready for him. Few first night was a shocked for me… but its all worth it… the third day I realize that my Rafael was a bit yellow…we took him back to the hospital. And that was the first time I saw my baby screamed when they took his blood for his blood test… I cried and hug him tightly as the docs inserted the stupid needle. Poor baby!! Luckily the bilirubin level in the blood was still very low…I was so worried at first and relieved then. At home mum bathes him with the herbs we got from the Traditional Chinese Shop. We also took him out in the mornings. A week later he was ok… some friends of mine and Fairuz came. Mak, Abg Amirul & Family came. Rafael received a lot of presents.

On a one fine day, Rafael temperature was a bit warm. My heart says that something is just not right. We went back to University Hospital for a check-up. My baby was having a fever. They gave him some medication and told me that it was normal for a baby to have a fever. I was not really satisfied with the explanations. The next day, Rafael was still having high fever. As I watch him sleeping my heart just tells me that he is not ok, I held him and tried to wake him up but he didn’t respond to anything. I screamed and quickly took the car keys and drove the car to Dr Altaf Specialist Clinic. He woke up as we arrived at the clinic. Dr Altaf examines my Rafael and confirmed that my Rafael’s temperature was quite high. He also discovers that Rafael’s heart had a murmur but didn’t confirm the situation. He called up the cardiologist and referred Rafael to do an echo. We went back home and I broke down to tears. I called Fairuz and as he arrived we headed straight to Pantai Medical Centre. I held my son and prayed that what Dr Altaf said was not true…My baby is fine. He is healthy…there’s nothing wrong with him!! Mum heard the news and she took off from the office and waited for us at the hospital. We met the pediatrician and also a cardiologist Dr Azam. Dr Altaf has already brief him about Rafael’s condition and he did an ultrasound test and the echo. My heart broke into pieces as he confirms that my Baby Rafael is diagnosed with Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD).Which is the septum is a wall that separates the heart's left and right sides. Septal defects are sometimes called a "hole" in the heart. A defect between the heart's two lower chambers (the ventricles) is called a ventricular septal defect (VSD).

When there is a large opening between the ventricles, a large amount of oxygen-rich (red) blood from the heart's left side is forced through the defect into the right side. Then it's pumped back to the lungs, even though it's already been refreshed with oxygen. This is inefficient, because already-oxygenated blood displaces blood that needs oxygen. This means the heart, which must pump more blood, may enlarge from the added work. High blood pressure may occur in the lungs' blood vessels because more blood is there. Over time, this increased pulmonary hypertension may permanently damage the blood vessel walls. If the opening between the ventricles is small, it doesn't strain the heart. In that case, the only abnormal finding is a loud murmur.

Rafael was admitted due to his high fever. I couldn’t help myself from crying. How it hurts me when I see my beloved son’s small little hands being inserted with a needle. They did a lot of test and he was on antibiotics and other medications. He was hospitalized for a week. Rafael got better and ready to come home. The Dr Azam advises that we’ll have to arrange for follow-ups for his heart condition and starts him with medication to prevent of getting water retentions and heart failure.

He was discharge a week later and we’re back at mums. We moved back to our house in Flora Damansara. A week later, Rafael was coughing, until one night it got worse. We rushed to the hospital again. Dr Azam did the check-up and Rafael has to be admitted to Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). From that moment I just can’t help myself anymore. How can God test me like this, a lot of question was in my mind. I cried and cried throughout the times he was in the NICU. I prayed everyday for my precious baby to recover from this disease. He was diagnosed with Acute Bronchitis. Again all the needles and wires were all over my son. The worse part was I am not allowed to sleep over at the hospital. I was so stressed out and all i did was prayed to Allah for my beloved son's health. I'm always at the hospital early in the morning till late nights. Rafael was on the nebulizer every two hours and they also had to perform suction to clear his throat and lungs from flams every two hours. Rafael my son was a strong boy. A week in NICU he just keeps getting better and better. The nurses just fell in love with his smiles. As his condition gets better he was transffered to the normal ward. He still continued with the nebulizer and did the suction only when its necessary. Few days in the ward, he is back to normal and ready to come home. He only needs to continue with all his medication and follow-up with Dr Azam. I was very much relieved and happy. We came back home and take extra precautions for him not to get sick again. Till today, Alhamdullilah his been healthy and as for his heart condition, we still need to do monthly follow -ups with Dr Azam. He has never been better. My prayers are always for my one and most beloved son Muhammad Rafael Faliq.